I once heard the quote, “You can measure your success by the number of tough conversations you have.” How many times have you had to have a tough conversation with yourself, your spouse, your kids, your parents, or your co-workers?
Most people avoid tough conversations and don’t have much success or happiness. The path to true happiness is through making tough decisions and choosing the way others avoid.
But how do you know if and when these tough decisions arise and if they will pay off in the long run? You will have to use your gut instincts and go against conventional wisdom.
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An older person’s regrets. My wife’s grandma said her only regret was not taking the more arduous path. Indeed, we can let limiting beliefs, fears, and peer pressure keep us from taking our true course.
My wife and I have made tough decisions together for over 16 years of marriage. My wife left her country (Turkmenistan) to marry me. I was a young Sergeant in the Marine Corps in 2006.
She knew nothing about America or the US military, yet here we are today. I am on my fourth tour of duty away from my family as we speak. These are tough decisions where the easy path looks me in the face daily.
The easy way for me is to retire from the Marines and be with my family. Nobody would blame me for walking away after 23 years of service.
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Let’s explore the more demanding path. However, the tougher path will lead to more happiness in the long run—we call this delayed gratification.
If I retire today, I will need to return to Pensacola and work a job. I may be unable to save and invest as much money as I am now.
Plus, my military pension is growing every day. If I stick with it for three more years, it will pay off in boatloads. Additionally, my online business (a blog) needs time to mature and grow.
Finally, our dividend portfolio currently pays us $1,100/month. We can get this up to $3,000/month or more in three years.
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Altogether, staying in the Marine Corps will allow me to retire by age 46. If I got out now, I would work until at least 50, if not longer.
You won’t see the difficult path unless you go looking for it. Finding the rugged trail is the most challenging part of succeeding in life and reaching maximum happiness.
To evaluate your position in life and make critical decisions, you will have to surround yourself with other successful people.
Most average people will STOP in place. This means they will stop learning, growing, thinking, striving, failing, overcoming, and achieving. They slow down in life because they have a fixed mindset and believe someone (or something) has already decided their fate.
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These people lose their office management jobs and complain that no office management jobs are vacant.
A successful person will tell that person to go UPSKILL or improve their qualifications by attending a trade school or college. Or that they have the skillset or personality to become a content creator.
The challenging path is always around you. Do you want to have more money? Do you want to make money in your sleep?
How about working the laptop life—writing books or running a business from your laptop on a remote island? This all sounds great, and it is all achievable. But, can YOU achieve it?
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The difficult path usually involves 3-5 years of immense pain or discomfort—that’s why people avoid it. There is no way around it, but it will always stare you in the face.
You always feel you can do more, achieve more, or give more, but something holds you back from going for “IT.”
Define the word “IT.” Finding your “IT” is extremely challenging because you must have a conversation with yourself. What is “IT” that you want to achieve or give to the world?
Your job is not your “IT.” Your job is a means to an end that you use to keep the lights on while you define your “IT.”
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My long-term plan. I want to assist special needs children and their families in the long term. Some fantastic parents must sacrifice their entire lives to manage, provide for, and love their disabled children.
These amazing parents deserve a break, maybe a one-week vacation—with or without their kids. I would love to start a non-profit along those lines—this may be my “IT.”
Take the long path to your true purpose. But I cannot run off and start a non-profit because there are other priorities along the trail.
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First, I need to ensure my wife and I are sound financially. Luckily, my military retirement will take care of this, plus we can add roommates if we need additional resources for some reason.
Next, my kids need to have financial support. Our dividend portfolio will ensure the entire family has passive income.
Finally, I would need a source of passive income to assist with the early days of the start-up foundation. After ten years of blogging, we may reach the point of massive passive income.
So, although I dream of achieving something great, I broke it down into steps. And these steps will take multiple years to complete and bear fruit.
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The daily grind. However, upon closer examination, my path is just a daily choice to wake up, make my bed, write and publish a book, go to work, and live on a budget.
Although I have a long path ahead of me, I mainly concern myself with my day-to-day actions. Can I stay under my $50/day budget? Did I write and publish a book today? Did I help other Marines out at work?
Conclusion. How you spend your free time will separate you from everyone else over time. Do you watch Netflix for five hours and drink alcohol? Or do you read about dividends for two hours, create for an hour, and watch Netflix for two hours with your spouse?
It doesn’t take much to change your life—just the desire to create a different result. Do you want to find an amazing spouse? You will need to become an incredible person.
Do you want a great marriage? Go read the book “His Needs, Her Needs.” However, you will have to choose to read this book instead of other activities that are more fun.
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Then, you will have to implement the concepts from the book in your relationship. That is taking the difficult path—asking your spouse how you can be a better spouse.
If you are having trouble finding your “IT,” find someone successful that you admire. Ask them what they see inside you. They will say you are creative, a hard worker, funny, etc.
They will give you an idea of how to exploit your talent. The difficult path is taking their words to heart and creating a plan of action. Good Luck!
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