This series will probably be one of the most important I will write over the next few years. Limiting beliefs are the main hindrance between us and happiness. We know we want to achieve specific objectives, but something (mentally) holds us back.
To overcome limiting beliefs, we need to understand them, then counteract them. It can be a slow process, or it can happen overnight—it depends on the person and the limiting beliefs.
Some of the more common limiting beliefs are talking in front of an audience and perfectionism. I think the central limiting belief is doubting one’s abilities—we could call this self-doubt. I want to talk about this topic today.
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What is self-doubt? I classify self-doubt as a lack of belief in your abilities to overcome, sustain, maintain, or thrive in any environment or situation. Many people give up on something before they even try.
Others start something and quit as soon as things get tough. Some areas that may see us doubt ourselves are weight loss and going to college. But where does self-doubt originate?
Where does self-doubt start? I am no doctor, but I have worked with many Marines for over 23 years, so I’ll go with my own experiences. I believe self-doubt starts at home and school.
By the time a young Marine enters my office at age 19, I can pretty much predict their success in the Marine Corps. One or two may surprise me, but I am mostly correct in my assumptions.
I can tell that Marines are confident by their tact, bearing, and strong voice. They may not be the strongest or the fastest, but they have everything it takes to make it.
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The two mindsets. The book “Mindset” talks about growth and a fixed mindset. Having a growth mindset allows you to seek challenges even though you may fail. The fixed mindset wants you to “stay safe” and avoid change.
I believe public school forces us into a fixed mindset, at least en masse. The public education system teaches us that there is only one correct answer, the teacher is always right, and we can’t work as a team.
Thus, when we get into the real world, this is how we operate. The boss is always right, they have the only answer, and we must work by ourselves. I see many Marines deathly afraid to ask for assistance within their jobs and personal lives.
Is confidence a trait? As Marines enter my office, some have more confidence than others. Being proud is a winning trait in life. How do we build confidence?
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After reading 101 books over the last 18 months, I believe confidence comes from self-education. Experience is the best way to build confidence, but how do we gain experience without time? We can gain confidence by reading about the lives and experiences of others.
This is another reason why so many people struggle with self-doubt—getting good grades. I was a straight “A” student until I graduated high school; however, that is not why I am successful in life.
In fact, I am successful in life is the exact opposite of why I was successful in school. I always knew that getting along with people, building my own tasks, and seeking my own validation would lead to success.
For example, I had a 4.4 GPA in high school and joined the Marines 10 days after graduation. I move to the beat of my own drum. Robert Kiyosaki talks about this in “Why “A” Students Work for “C” Students.”
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The problem with grades. To be successful at school, you basically play “follow the leader.” You do exactly what the teacher tells you, and you’ll be highly successful. This works up until a certain point.
The problem with life is that there won’t be a leader eventually. You’ll have a boss that doesn’t know (nor understand) your job. Yet, they’ll ask you to advise them on how to make decisions in your career field.
Your boss doesn’t know the answer, and there isn’t one “right” way to proceed. You have to make an educated guess based on factors outside of your expertise. These factors include personality conflicts, budgeting, time constraints, and public appearance.
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You may be the most brilliant engineer in the building, but how can you fit your projects into a budget? That’s why CEOs make more than engineers; they make decisions that affect multiple complications of the company.
Seeking the correct answer causes self-doubt. I see it all the time in the Marines—people who always need to have the correct answer. They stick to the black & white standard operating procedures (SOP). They cause fear to those who make mistakes within the guidelines.
These people have an extremely rough time in an uncontrolled environment. As you grow in rank and title, the situations become much more uncontrolled. For example, the SOP may call for you to use ten screws to bolt on the radiator.
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However, now you are in Iraq, and the mission leaves in two hours. You only have five screws, and you need to get the truck running. What do you do? These are the situations that “A” students seek to avoid all of their lives. “C” students with growth mindsets thrive in these tense situations that require multiple layers of deep thought and teamwork.
How do we defeat self-doubt? Having a fixed mindset that focuses on always getting “A’s” in real life can hinder us. The “right answer” mindset stops us from building businesses, becoming content creators, and stock market investing.
Becoming a Content Creator, Investor, Real Estate Tycoon, and Entrepreneur all require us to operate outside of an SOP. We move into an uncontrolled environment where no one has the correct answer for our situation.
It’s nearly impossible for someone with a fixed mindset to become an entrepreneur (at least a successful one). In the book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” Robert Kiyosaki talks about his biological dad, who worked for the government.
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He eventually started running a franchise but failed miserably because he was used to operating under the “right answer” of the government. For me, building the mindset of an entrepreneur (growth mindset) was one of the most challenging things I ever overcame.
Reading is the key to overcoming self-doubt. Once you read, you’ll understand that you were programmed to be an assembly worker, not a free thinker. You have to fight your programming every day actively—you can’t just fight it once.
How do you grow mentally stronger? I am a huge advocate of creating something daily. There is no better way to overcome self-doubt, build confidence, and solidify yourself on this Earth than creating.
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The stats go like this: 1% of people are producers, 9% are editors, and 90% are consumers. Becoming a producer or creator is the best way to overcome self-doubt. The sense of pride you’ll feel as you create a collection of art, poems, pictures, articles, videos, podcasts, etc., is unbelievable.
A great book to start with is “The Practice.” Seth Godin discusses the power of being a creator. Don’t let your public (or college) education prevent you from learning. Don’t be the person that thinks their college degree makes them better than others.
Conclusion. There are far more people with college degrees than successful YouTubers—why is that? Because gaining traction on YouTube takes multiple talents and skills, you also have to overcome your own limiting beliefs.
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I have no college education, while most of my friends have a bachelor’s or master’s. However, I am the only one writing and releasing books. I have a business, multiple houses, and a successful marriage.
To create this wonderful life, I moved past my belief in the grading system and operated outside social norms. I played the game during work hours, but I had to navigate a different path on my own time.
If you want to overcome your internal fears, start reading books like “Limitless” and “Unfair Advantage.” They will help you understand what is at stake. No longer can you get a degree, work a job, and then become a millionaire—the formula changed.
You’ll have to think outside the box. Learning to think differently is how you build confidence and overcome self-doubt. Hopefully, I helped you understand some of the mental gymnastics we all have to overcome. I’ll see you next time. Good Luck!
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