Life is challenging when you figure out how to become successful. As you grind your way into oblivion, everyone expects you to be perfect along the way.
Discipline is key to successful relationships and financial independence. Discipline; some people have it, but most don’t.
But success in the world comes at a cost—your sanity. As you climb the corporate ladder, build a business, or commit to your marriage, you’ll sacrifice your personal desires to keep everything together.
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The cost to be the boss. Most people act like they want to climb to the top of the company. I am in the Marine Corps, and I’ve seen it all.
From ranks E1-E7, everyone seems to be grinding to reach the top. However, only one percent of the military can hold the rank of E-9 at one time.
This means that only a select few can make it to the top. Those who make it to E-9 have to work harder than everyone and play the game better. And that brings me to the rub.
Playing the game at high levels. “Playing the game” starts in school at a very young age. However, it ramps up considerably during high school in relation to college admissions.
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This is when I saw the reality of playing along to get into certain colleges. Colleges want you to be a well-rounded student and philanthropist.
Therefore, you must volunteer, join the book club, be president of the African American club, and play a sport. Oh, and I needed a 4.5-grade point average.
I didn’t want to play this game, so I joined the Marine Corps in 1999—this brought me to an entirely new set of rules.
As you grow in the military, they want you to be physically fit, know your profession, and accomplish the mission. Individually these are three separate tracks of their own.
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Don’t forget to add in relationships. While you aim for success in the real world, you must keep your marriage together—the ultimate game.
Without guidance, you must figure out how to be a great spouse, a wonderful parent, and a sexy lover. Marriage is tough, especially when both parents work.
Don’t forget finances. The biggest game of all, right next to relationships, is finances. I am the primary provider of the house, so finances are vital to my success.
The problem is that no one tells you the actual game of finances doesn’t come from earned income (having a job) but from passive income.
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Very few people on Earth understand that the actual game is building a steady stream of passive income for you and your family. If they did, they could live much more fulfilling lives.
This is for the parents out there. If you haven’t guessed, I am directing this article to the parents in the audience. You are going to have kids that aim for success in college, work, marriage, and finances—they need your help the most.
You see, the people who get the most help in the world are the ones who have the least amount of success.
I can understand from some angle why this happens. We want to try to level the playing field by assisting those who are having a tough time.
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But over the years, it’s become increasingly easy to just give up on the idea of becoming successful. This mindset gives the unsuccessful person the lion’s share of attention and support versus the successful people.
It’s not fair to those who try. For the small percentage of people trying their best, they have to keep grinding. No one is coming to save them—ever.
Once parents determine which of the kids will be successful, all support, extra love, effort, and attention go to the struggling children.
As parents, we need to stop holding the successful person to the highest standards possible. We need to show them some grace by giving a little more support from the sidelines.
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Let’s look at some examples. Let’s review some quick examples of the difference between how we treat our children.
- Moving home. The unsuccessful person can live at home indefinitely without paying rent. The successful person must transition houses and pay rent at the going rate.
- Having a baby. When an unsuccessful person has a baby, the entire world ends. Everyone comes to fully support this person with a baby shower, cash, and free daycare. The successful person MIGHT get a $10 item on their Amazon wishlist.
- Buying a car. The unsuccessful person will receive assistance purchasing, paying, and maintaining a vehicle. The successful person will get, “wow, that’s a nice car.”
The eyes of the beholder. Only successful people can see the difference in treatment. This article is crucial in today’s work environment because more people choose to become unsuccessful.
When you hear things like the Great Resignation, where people are quitting their job because they are not happy, you know where things are heading.
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Successful people require our help more than ever. They will crack at some point because the pressure to hold everything together can be overwhelming.
How to help successful people. Successful people don’t require much help compared to unsuccessful people. All you need to do is go out of your way to understand their burden of responsibility.
If you can understand how much they have on their plate, you can relieve them of a tiny portion of this burden. Let’s give some examples.
- Moving homes. Offer successful people the option to move home rent-free while they transition places or build a new home.
- Having a baby. Offer to pay for their crib, baby room upgrade, or daycare for a few months.
- Buying a car. Offer to help with the down payment or monthly insurance. Pay for new tires or an oil change.
Conclusion. Doing these little things can go a long way for this person’s sanity. In many cases, parents are jealous of thriving children and may wish for their downfall. This jealously is insane, but check yourself if you have these thoughts.
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Be careful never to say, “My kids are good; they don’t need anything from me.” This statement translates to “I have nothing to offer my children” or “I want to keep my money to myself, for myself.”
Parents, we are all trying to do our best; however, try harder. We have children for a lifetime, not 18 years. I know it’s easy to focus on the struggling children because they always need help.
The successful people are putting on the appearance of success at the cost of their sanity. We must understand that it takes a toll on one’s soul to be successful. And it’s even harder to keep success over a sustained time.
Who is your most successful child? How have you helped them relieve some stress lately? We want them to know that we love them just as much as the struggling children. However, we can’t just say we love them; we must show them. Good Luck!
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