I thought I had it all figured out ten years ago. I had 13 years in the Marine Corps under my belt, and I was looking towards the rank of Master Sergeant (E-8).
I looked at the pay chart for E-9s over 20 years of service, and the money looked great. If I could reach E-9, it would solve all my money problems.
Lo and behold, a few years later, they selected me for E-9, and I still didn’t have much cash flow after expenses. Was I doing something wrong?
Being Broke Isn’t Quite part III
The ultimate form of gaslighting. Gaslighting is manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
As we grow up, our parents tell us to work hard for money, and everything will work out in the end. We must keep our heads down, get an education, and climb the corporate ladder while building and maintaining a family.
Unfortunately, no one tells you that it is near impossible to carry out all these missions and keep your sanity.
When you work harder and harder, but your bills continue to overwhelm you, it feels as though someone is playing a joke on you. Is someone gaslighting me?
Then we turn to debt. The true problems arrive when we borrow against our future success in the form of debt. To be honest, most of us aren’t trying to live beyond our means when we amass debt.
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As we climb the corporate ladder, we simultaneously grow our family. We believe that the money will be there in a few years, so why not take an advance using our credit cards?
As parents, we want the best for our children. We all want to give our kids a magical childhood of trips to Walt Disney World and presents under the Christmas tree.
Well, something has to give. Usually, we start to take on debt for luxury items like trips and presents. As our debt grows, we pay more of our basic expenses with credit—quite the emotional roller coaster.
The emotional roller coaster. The scary part is that most of us don’t understand the actual effects of debt. We think we are normal while our genuine emotions lay dormant, growing over time.
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The primary emotions I felt when we were under debt were stress, anxiety, and fear. Let’s explore my feelings as a husband and father of two boys when I was under $77,000 in debt.
Stress. The actual debt didn’t cause stress; the need to make more money was the problem. I needed to get promoted because that was the only way I saw to increase my income.
I threw myself into my job. I went to Afghanistan, training missions, and worked weekends. There was no way I would miss my promotion opportunities.
Don’t get me wrong, these things all made me better—but at what cost? Did I really need this much stress and pressure to become who I am today? I could have toned it down by 50% if I had known about passive income back then.
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Anxiety. My anxiety came from the unknown future. If I had $5,000 of available credit, I knew that a new air conditioner would cost $7,000—causing me anxiety.
You can’t truly enjoy the moment when you must constantly prepare for the unknown, especially if you are the provider in the family.
Now that I have $230,000+ in the bank and, more importantly, $3,000/month of passive income, I don’t have this anxiety. I know I have enough money to solve all my problems outside of relationships.
Fear. My fear came from thinking others would find out about my debt problem. We all want to act like we have our life under control, but I will tell you a secret.
Become CEO of Yourself 3
You don’t have your life under control if you are in debt. Someone else (your debtors) owns your life and, by extension, you. You are working to pay them back while sacrificing your future investments.
The fear of failure or rejection may be the greatest of the roller coasters. As humans, we don’t talk about money with each other, and when we do, we aren’t 100% honest.
Overcome your limiting emotions. I started Military Family Investing to have honest conversations about money, wealth, and debt with ordinary people like me.
I grew up poor and worked hard to become middle class. However, what we think is middle-class is truly In-debt-ured servitude.
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When you have enough passive income to pay all of your expenses, you are now work-optional and middle-class.
You are wealthy when you have enough passive income to fund your entire dream lifestyle. Both middle-class and wealthy statuses require you to become debt-free, so let’s work on that next.
Start your debt payoff journey. If reading this makes you understand your debt problems, it’s time for a change. You want to be done with this crappy all-work lifestyle and paying someone else with each paycheck.
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Luckily, I have multiple series on paying off debt and staying debt-free at any age. Use these free resources below to start your journey.
- Debt-Free Society: Beat Credit Card Debt
- Debt-Free Society: Beat Automobile Debt
- Debt-Free Society: Beat Wedding Debt
- Debt-Free Society: Beat Student Loan Debt
- Staying Debt-Free In Your 20s
- Staying Debt-Free In Your 30s
- Staying Debt-Free In Your 40s
- Staying Debt-Free In Your 50s
- Staying Debt-Free In Your 60s
- Staying Debt-Free In Your 70s
Only you can take your debt seriously. If you are serious about paying off debt, it will seem like money is your number one concern.
You’ll budget every penny, start reading Dave Ramsey and Robert Kiyosaki books and build multiple income streams. You’ll begin to notice something from the people around you—they won’t like this change.
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They will shame you with language like “you need to have balance” or “you’ve changed.” Yes, you have. This is a mirror effect. They look at you and know they should follow a similar journey.
Don’t let them stop your remarkable change of direction. I felt this way until I read the book “Be Obsessed, or Be Average.” Indeed, this obsession is what it takes to get ahead and stay ahead.
Conclusion. The good part is that your life will return to normal after you pay off debt. The world will be much brighter and more colorful when you are without debt obligations.
USDC vs. Series “I” Bonds
Knowing that each paycheck is yours, you’ll enjoy much more time with family and friends. You can save, invest, and spend without fear, stress, or anxiety.
The final step is to help others on their journey. Discuss your path openly so that others can emulate your success. If you don’t assist others, you’ll risk falling back into the debt super-cycle.
Humans must help others to find themselves on this Earth. Assisting others to free themselves from bondage is a massive undertaking and could be your life mission—as it is mine. Good Luck!
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