Budgeting together is my definition of true love. Yes, it doesn’t sound sexy or romantic, but it’s practical and successful.
My wife and I met in a far-off foreign land in 2004; I was 23, and she was 20. It was love at first sight. I told her I loved her in three days.
Now, almost twenty years later, we are leaving the workforce at ages 42 and 39. We can spend the rest of our days together without the stress of work or worry. How did we do it? Budgeting.
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Fear of the unknown. We leave in uncertain times. However, we have always lived in certain times because bad news sells better than good.
Your marriage or relationship will suffer if your finances are in disarray. You simply cannot have a healthy relationship under constant financial pressure and anxiety.
Our marriage was under the rocks when we had $77,000 in debt. Life isn’t enjoyable when all of your cash flow goes to paying for the past via debt.
Our biggest mistake as a couple was using our income as our budget. We believed our discretionary income was the difference between our income and expenses—this is wrong.
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You must invest the difference between your income and expenses in income-producing assets. Once these assets produce income, that is your actual discretionary income. Let’s take dividends, for example.
My guidance for my son. My oldest son is 16 and will soon begin dating. The worst thing he can do is go to work, earn a paycheck, and spend this money directly on dating.
Why is this so bad? Because he can’t afford the dating situation he is portraying. When you have to work to pay for something, you cannot afford it.
Let’s say my son makes $20/hour as a lifeguard. He goes on a date for $200, costing him 10 hours.
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What if he paid for the date with $200 from dividends? Now, he can go on this date once a month whether he works or not—he can afford it.
I advise my son to build his dividend portfolio before he even considers dating. Yes, his hormones will get the best of him, but at least he has “the information.”
Budgeting with your partner. When did spending money and living above our means become so acceptable?
This may be a problem specifically for western countries, but it is a massive issue for love and relationships.
As couples and families, we should be buying back our time from the workforce. There is no reason to spend 35-50 years in the workforce—double for two-working parent households.
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We are literally working to purchase more (expensive) stuff. We need bigger houses, faster cars, and grander vacations—all at the cost of time.
Retiring from the military after 24 years allows me to see this scenario daily. My buddies will return to the workforce simply to live a particular lifestyle. Trust me; they don’t want to continue to work.
So is this love? It seems more like hate to keep people working against their will. To everyone’s credit, financial education is hard to come by if you are not hunting for it.
Dating with dividends. My retirement pension will be roughly $8,000/month. My household can live comfortably on approximately $5,500/month in sunny Pensacola, Florida.
However, my wife and I have built our Dividend Debit Cards (dividend stocks via Cash App) for the last three years. She receives roughly $180/month and about $260/month for me.
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These gifts will be our leisure money. It doesn’t come from our $8,000/month income or $5,500/month budget. For all intents and purposes, it doesn’t exist.
If we want to get sushi or watch an expensive movie, our dividends have our backs. They give us the financial freedom to date without worrying.
Start with dating. My wife and I didn’t have this information twenty years ago, but now we can pass it along to our kids.
My son can now START with dividends as his dating budget. To earn $300/month, he would need to invest roughly $45,000 at an 8% yield. Saving this is possible with the right mindset.
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The person he meets through budgeting will hopefully share a similar mindset. I know it saps the fun out of dating and being young, but better now than later.
Do you want to stay in the workforce because you both drive cars with $1,000 payments? Does working another five years to pay for a cosmetic bathroom renovation sound fun?
The poor financial decisions we make today will hurt us tomorrow. The workforce has taken a turn for the worse since the pandemic.
Too much stress for little pay. Everywhere you look, corporations are understaffed. If you do have a job, they want you to fill 2-5 positions.
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The workforce in its current state is simply unsustainable. People who work for 40 years will have major physical and mental health issues.
You and your partner need to be in lock-step to escape the rat race. It starts with an honest conversation during the dating phase.
If you have a $300 dividend budget for the month, you two can make it work. If it’s not enough, this person simply isn’t your person.
I’m sorry, if it’s not enough now, it won’t be later. I am watching people earning $10,000/month in passive income return to the workforce.
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Conclusion. My wife probably won’t like this article because it’s too logical (versus emotional), but she would agree.
I am a huge fan of having fun on a budget. It makes you value your time and think of unique events and memorable moments.
You can probably go on three good dates with $300/month in San Diego. You can go to a movie but take a walk after, instead of dinner.
You can buy some ice cream and drive to Sunset cliffs, which overlooks the ocean. A dividend budget will give you financial freedom and even better dating events. But that’s just me.
I cannot describe what it feels like to leave the workforce after 24 years, but let’s say it is surreal. They taught you to work for money, but “money working for you” is how to free yourself.
Before dating, you should understand finances. You can find someone to follow your lead if you have “the information.” My wife and I figured it out on the fly, which isn’t fun. You can do better than us. Good Luck!
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Disclosure: I am not a financial advisor or money manager, and any knowledge is given as guidance and not direct actionable investment advice. I am an Amazon Affiliate. Please research any investment vehicles that are being considered. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it. I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article. All Right Reserved Military Family Investing
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