“Find Your People” by Jennie Allen is a celebration of life, love, and friendship. The book explores why we feel so alone in this modern time.
With cell phones and social media, we should feel closer to one another, right? The problem is that we all chase individualism. This love of being alone, living alone, and staying alone keep us, well, alone.
In the tribes of Africa, members don’t have locked doors and separate rooms. Because of this, they form tighter bonds that we can only imagine. So how do we become closer to our spouses and friends?
1) We search for friends close to our geographic location. Having friends far away is nice, but you also need a tribe of people you see daily. People from your community, neighborhood, church, etc.
2) Loneliness is worse for our health than smoking, lack of health care, obesity, and physical inability. We must take loneliness seriously.
3) Introduce yourself during your daily routines. Say hi to people you see while shopping, exercising, or walking a dog. Write their names down to remember the next time.
4) Open up to your friends. Tell them that you intend to have a deep friendship—lower the barriers we all put up throughout our lives.
5) Force yourself to talk about deeper topics than kids and work. How is your marriage doing? What are your struggles? What gives you anxiety?
This book makes me question the friendship I have. I have let many friendships wither because of work and life commitments.
I have enough time to reach out to friends but tend to fill this time with other minimal tasks. I say, “I’m too tired to deal with friends.”
After reading this book, I am taking steps to reconnect with many of the friends I made over the last 23 years of work. The Lord blessed me by bringing great people into my life, and I need to repay him by keeping these people on my journey.
This book is excellent for anyone searching for more to life than working, making money, and buying things. It will make you reconsider how hard you are trying to maintain valuable relationships in your life.
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