This could be the most dangerous intersection in the world. Many crashes have occurred on this intersection. How do you prevent yourself and your loved one from becoming victims of this terrible intersection? Well, let’s go over some of the steps you can take to get on the same page with each other. If you can come together and form a solid team based on common goals, your life together will be unbelievably incredible.
Here is some background on me and Kris’s journey together. Our financial journey was very easy when we first met: we were both broke and poor. Easy enough. We did not have assets to combine together or large sums of money. I may have had $10,000 in the bank. I have been lucky that Kris always trusted me to handle the majority of the money handling. We have been on the same page 95% of the time. The times we were not were because of the timing of a major purchase, like furniture. I would always say let’s buy when the time is right, however, the time is really never perfect. Sometimes you just have to go and buy it.
What if you and your loved one were not on the same page? How do you start to get united on the financial front? Let’s go through how you would begin to work as a strong financial team.
1) First, have a talk about what money means to the other person. To some people money means security. To others, it may mean freedom. Yet, to others, it may mean fun. If money means security to someone, then they may not like a lot of debt and would instead like to save. Others are more comfortable investing money. This conversation is an important starting point towards walking down a unified financial path.
2) Set a defined goal, that is attainable. A goal such as “become rich” may not be very attainable because it is not defined. A goal such as “pay off all credit card debt” should be attainable. However, do not set something that is years off. If you have credit card debt of $10,000, maybe you set something like “get credit cards down to $7,000 by the end of the year”. This way you can make visual progress towards your goals. Don’t worry if you have to adjust your goals from time to time. This is called “life”.
3) Work within each other’s parameters. Everyone is different, understand that. You may be a spreadsheet-wielding budgeting fiend. However, your partner may not want anything to do with a spreadsheet. They may just want a debit card with exactly as money as they can spend added to it monthly. They know their budget is maxed out when the card doesn’t work. Your partner may want a new car every 5 years. If that is their one splurge, then try to accommodate. Say something like “Would you be willing to have a roommate or start a small business to support this?” You will have more options if you consider increasing your income as a solution.
4) Read books together. I would recommend “I Will Teach You to Be Rich” by Ramit Sethi. It is a perfect book for those starting to get out of the debt cycle or who want to start their journey towards financial freedom.
The most important part is not to give up on each other. Even if the other person is not ready to slow down on spending, try to minimize the damage they can do. If you slowly do your part and show your positive results, then chances are, over time, they will probably change. Even if it just a little bit. Remember, you love this person, it is worth the wait.
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Disclosure: I am not a financial advisor or money manager, and any knowledge is given as guidance and not direct actionable investment advice. Please research any investment vehicles that are being considered. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it. I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.
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