“How to Not Die Alone” by Logan Ury is mainly for singles seeking love and relationships. However, if you are married (like me), there is still a lot of goodness in this book.
Much of the dating process and mate selection has moved to the online space via apps and websites. With this massive change, finding our soul mates has become more challenging.
We think we know what our future partner will look like, so we set our apps to match what is in our imaginations. But, most times, what we imagine and what we marry are vastly different—in a good way.
To date with intention, we must break many of our bad habits like dumping people because of our “peep peeves” and ghosting others. This book takes us step-by-step on dating online, moving in together, getting married, or terminating the relationship.
1) In the past, expectations were clear. You knew the religion, job, and demeanor of your future spouse. There were no surprises. Today we have free will to marry as we want.
2) We lack relationship role models. How many happy couples do you know? Are they willing to have a deep conversation about their past and how they overcame adversity? Chances are, they are not ready to have the conversation. We are all on our own.
3) The three dating tendencies are the romanticizer (fairy tale love), the maximizer (too much research), and the hesitator (can’t make a decision). We all have some combination of these three traits. Understanding these habits will allow us to overcome them slowly.
4) Understand the difference between a love story and a life story. A love story is a whirlwind romance filled with spontaneous events and exciting moments. A life story is filled more with bills, kids, and work. However, the life story is the real story. The goal is to find love in your life story.
5) There are two types of problems: solvable and perpetual problems. You can handle the solvable issues as a team. We need to deal with perpetual problems, like a neat vs. messy person, differently than solvable. You will have to be willing to compromise certain things with your partner.
Money matters in your relationship. Many people today say they are happy without money, but that’s not a positive attitude to carry for long periods. Emergencies, job loss, and medical issues can wreak havoc on marriages.
I love to read books on love and romance because choosing your partner is the most important financial decision you will make. If you are not on the same page financially, you will not have a chance of becoming rich.
If you are struggling in your dating life, please grab this book. I learned a lot, even though I have been married for 16 years. You can never have too much information on love and romance—an excellent book for anyone who wants a healthy, happy, and successful lifelong partnership.
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