What is the secret to becoming wealthy and maintaining lifelong relationships? How do some people have it all— money, success, family, and love? Can you be one of the few that has it all? I believe that you can if you clearly define what having it all means. Don’t clearly define the definition of having it all to me, no. Tell yourself what you want, be specific, and make yourself get there. In the end, you are in charge.
I think two things separate the hyper-successful winners from the ordinary people. Truly successful people know what they want, and they have the self-drive to get there. The standard person wants what others have and has no determination to discover how others got it and complain when they can’t get it.
How do you become one of the hyper-successful, all-around good people who seem always to have things going for them? Easy, decide what you want and get it. Is it really that easy, though? Yes and no. The hard part for most people is deciding what they want.
Are You Too Old to Start a Business?
As I wrote in “Living a Middle-Class Life is Stressful,” trying to keep up with others is the downfall of most people in first-world countries. If you cannot look at who you are, what you have, and be thankful— you are destined for failure.
For men, we tend to focus on those that have money and looks. They seem to always have beautiful women all around them. When they enter the room, everyone focuses their attention on them. They are the alpha males— the apex predators of the world. They have a clear shot at becoming CEO of the company and marrying the hottest woman in the building.
But in reality, the richest men in the world aren’t the cool guys. Google search Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, and look at his picture and stats. He is very short and doesn’t look like the typical apex predator. Nor does Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook. How did they rise to the top and become the silent hunter? Disciple.
For women, they have it worse than men. Men can understand that some people are born with their height and looks, women— not so much. With the ability to perform an excessive amount of augmentations, women are constantly looking to upgrade themselves.
Books & Thoughts
Add to this the illusion that all women are college-educated, powerful women on their way to becoming CEOs, and you have a recipe for unhappiness and disillusion. Again, take a step back, and realize what is really going on here.
The first step to defining what you want in life and mastering your path is looking past the first-world country’s illusion. I was lucky enough to live in third-world countries very early in my life, around age 21-24. The lessons I learned about life are still with me today. Here is some of the education I received overseas in countries like Niger (West Africa) and Turkmenistan (Central Asia).
1) People in third world countries do not compete with one another like in western cultures. These countries’ main goal is to put food on the table and make a better life for their children.
2) Family is paramount. Nothing is more important than family. The children don’t leave the house to become hot-shot lawyers, doctors, and politicians. The children grow up, get jobs, and take care of their parents.
Millennials, Homeownership, and Kids
3) Everyone is an entrepreneur. Many people get jobs, but most people overseas have some sort of side hustle. It is natural for them to sell something on the street or open a little shop inside their home.
4) Friendships meant something. I noticed that friends overseas were true friends. They had lifetimes of sitting on the porch together. They would assist one another through hard times. They celebrated significant events together, like the birth of a child, and they were happy for one another.
Learning these lessons early on has helped guide me through life. I don’t worry about having the biggest homes, the newest cars, and the most expensive clothes. I just want to lead a simple life, provide for my beautiful wife, and be rich. Not everyone else’s definition of rich, but my definition of wealth. (read “How Do You Define Being Rich?”)
Let’s break this down into small pieces. I want to dig into how you can define what you want in life, which is the essential aspect of becoming the CEO of your life. You need to have a clear definition of what you want and who you are. From there, you have to forge your path ahead and get what you want. I can tell that I will have to split this up into two separate articles. This topic is crucial to finding self-worth, value, and confidence.
Define what you want. I want to break this down into three easy categories, ordered by most people’s standard path: career, spouse, and wealth.
My Foray in FOREX
Career. Most people spend their whole working life trying to decide what job they want. Their career is supposed to be fulfilling as well as make them rich. It is supposed to do it all for them— give them a sense of purpose, find them lifelong friends, take care of them throughout retirement, and make them wealthy. That is not too much to ask, right?
I am sad to say; your career is just an extended job. It is a profession, not a lifetime achievement medal. Yes, can having a great career gives you certain benefits and increase your self-worth? Of course. You should celebrate becoming a doctor, lawyer, firefighter, astronaut, or Marine— they are incredible feats. However, if the rest of your life is not in order, these achievements won’t mean much.
Tiger Woods and Jeff Bezos both got divorced when at the top of their respective professions. I have met bus drivers and janitors that lead better lives than doctors and lawyers. These standard workers focus on what they have, not on what they want to have. They appreciate spending time with their family and friends. They celebrate small victories for themselves and family and do everything in their power to keep their families together. Families remember them for generations, not because of their profession, but because of their family responsibility.
Military Success 102: Mental Fitness
Take it from me; I thought my career was going to be the end-all-be-all. I worked for 20 years, going from Private First Class (E-2) to Master Gunnery Sergeant (E-9) in the United States Marine Corps. When I got to the top of my profession, looking from the height of the mountain, I saw nothing. It was just an obituary achievement—a pat on the back for a job well done.
What made this achievement great was that I still had my family together. We use the extra money to buy my freedom from the workforce. If I had lost my family along the way, the achievement would have no value to me. Becoming an E-9 allowed me to focus on new things that I love doing, like writing this article at 0200 in the morning. I would have never discovered my love for writing if I had not made it to the top of the mountain.
For you, moving forward, understand where your career fits into your overall life picture. When it comes to money, you can find tons of different ways to diversify your income outside of a job. So taking a job for the money should not be an issue in today’s society. I explain how we created multiple streams of income in the aptly named article “How We Created 13 Streams of Income.”
Spouse. Finding a spouse in today’s society can be near impossible. Watching friends and family dating made me realize why older generations believed in arranged marriages. With too many options, analysis paralysis can take effect.
I am writing this article because most people do not know what they want to accomplish in their dream life. These same people, who have no idea what they want from their own life, are now attempting to leverage their future spouses’ requirements.
Y.B.E. Young Brilliant Entrepreneurs
I’ll explain this last sentence after a quick detour. I met my wife, Kristina (Kris), in February of 2004 when I served at the US Embassy in Ashgabat, Turkmenistan. When I met Kris, she did not speak any English whatsoever. She was going to college and working as a waitress. I wanted more time to see her, so I asked her to quit her job. I promised to take care of her, and in return, she decided to take care of me. Seventeen years later, nothing has changed.
After all these years, our roles and expectations haven’t changed. I am the provider and father. She is the wife, mother and provides support to everyone in the family. She holds the family together, through thick and thin. On top of that, she runs our property management business and works a day job that pays her $42,000/ year. She is everything I asked for, times 100. But what did I ask for in the beginning? What did she expect from me?
I asked for someone to understand that I was a military person, someone who could cook and clean and take care of our children. She was/is beautiful also, inside and outside. She expected me to be faithful, a provider, and the leader of the house— she spoke no English, there wasn’t going to be any splitting household bills or money. I was in charge of guiding the family on the path to wealth. We keep it simple, and as our life has grown exceptionally, we still have the same simple expectations of each other.
Advertising 102: Left Brain vs. Right Brain
Now back to society and how we levy expectations on each other. Women are currently seeking men making over $100,000/year plus are six feet tall, work out, sensitive, yet an alpha male. Men are looking for an Instagram model, registered nurse making $80,000/year, driving nice cars, and can cook. Where do these people exist?
These expectations are unrealistic, to put mildly. These expectations are freaking insane, to put it bluntly. We need to go back to the basics. Men, do you want a homemaker who may work a side hustle? Does she need to cook, clean, and take care of the children? Are you ready to be the provider for all mouths inside the house? Can you handle the pressure of guiding everyone’s future wealth?
Women, do you want a sensitive man or an alpha male? Are you ready to be lead, or do you want to lead? It is fine either way, but I will tell you one thing, don’t take being a leader lightly. I have been in charge of my household for 15 years, and I will say it has its challenges. Stress and predicting the future are things you need to become comfortable with, along with unexpected emergencies. Think long and hard before deciding to take on the rule of the leader.
Once you determine what you bring to the table, find someone who will bring different things to the table but has the same core values. Kris and I rarely step on each other’s toes because we focus on different things in life. If I am refinancing one of our homes, she doesn’t tell me what interest rate to find or what bank to choose. If she is shopping for the house, I don’t tell her what curtain to buy or the couch we need. However, we do discuss all things together.
Mothers as Entrepreneurs
To be the CEO of your life, you will need a spouse, eventually. Have a clear idea of who you are, what you bring to the table, and manage expectations of what the other person can/cannot do. Remember, we can all grow, especially when we work together. Don’t expect to find the perfect husband/wife out of the box. You are not perfect either. Together, we can make the ideal couple with love and time.
Wealth. Your career will not make you rich— once you realize this, you will be well on your way to becoming wealthy. But Josh, I make $350,000/year at my job; I am rich. Yes, you have a lot of money or make a lot of money. You are not wealthy unless you can quit your job and never have to work again.
When you become financially independent, you will become wealthy. What is financial independence? The definition is when the money produced from assets is enough to cover your living expenses— at that point, you are financially independent. I’ll give an example.
The Advantages of Adult Children Living at Home part II
Suppose my expenses are $4,000/month. I retire from the military and make $2,200/month, I have a dividend portfolio making me $1,000, I have two rental homes making me $2,000/month, and I have books making me $700/month— Am I financially independent? Yes, I have a total of $5,900 to cover my $4,000 expenses. I am free.
At this point, I can focus on becoming rich. Yes, you heard me correctly; once you become financially independent, quit your job, you can now focus on accumulating a massive amount of wealth.
For example, you can write more books, start a youtube channel, find deals in single-family housing, buy raw land, find tax lien certificates, invest in cryptocurrency, trade options and commodities, or start an herb garden. The possibilities are endless. Working a job is the number one way to stay average.
Now back to the example of the person making $350,000/year ($29,000/month). Is that person rich? Perhaps, but chances are they are not. I say this because their lifestyle expenses are probably $200,000/year. This lifestyle most likely includes luxury cars, a huge home, boats, vacations, private schools, spa days, charity, weddings, travel, etc.
Now, for this person to be financially independent and maintain the same lifestyle, how much money would they need to bring in passively? Doing the math ($200,000 x 25), this person would need $5 million invested in the stock market. Making $350,000/year, this person could invest $5 million relatively quickly; however, lifestyle inflation probably got the best of them.
Do What You Love or Love What You Do
Why do I bring up the comparison between the financially free person, making $5,900/month passive, and the other person making $29,000/month actively? Who do you consider rich? That is the question that you have to ask yourself. Your answer to this question is what will drive your future decisions and how you view wealth for the rest of your life.
Most people look at the $29,000/month person and strive to be that guy/gal. Working for money will not lead to happiness. The more you work, the more you spend, the more you will have to work to pay for your spending. It is called the rat race. And most people never get off the hamster wheel.
Kris and I are financially free, yet we are staying in the workforce by choice. We are still relatively young (I’m 40), and both of our jobs are not too taxing on the mind, body, or soul. We plan to do 5-8 more years just to pad out our numbers, and then we have the freedom to do whatever we want to do for our dream life.
The Road to Wealth
Putting it all together. Wow, I wrote a lot today, but you must understand the relationship of career, spouse, and job. Understanding how your mindset will affect your choices is the first step of becoming the CEO of yourself. You have to filter out the noise when choosing your career, spouse, and building wealth.
Hopefully, you learned how outside forces are at work, bending our minds for their own devices. You can have it all; you just have to decide for yourself what you want. Do you want a career you can’t stand because it pays a lot of money? Do you want an Instagram registered nurse making $100,000/year, or do you want an attractive homemaker that runs the house and cooperates with you as a teammate would? Do you want to be the person making $29,000/month with countless liabilities, or the person retired making $5,900/month spending time with his/her spouse and children?
These questions might be tough choices for you. For me, they are simple and as clear as day. But I have lived a blessed life and see the light at the beginning and end of the tunnel. I know that chasing fake things with fake people leads to an artificial life. But it may be something you have to learn on your own.
So enough rambling; in part two, I will focus on getting the things you want from life. Remember, the first step was deciding what you want; the next step is going out and getting everything you ever dreamed of and more. Until next time, thanks for reading.
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Disclosure: I am not a financial advisor or money manager, and any knowledge is given as guidance and not direct actionable investment advice. I am an Amazon Affiliate. Please research any investment vehicles that are being considered. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it. I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.
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