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In Military Success 101, we learned how vital it was to stay in top physical shape for a long, successful career. Equally important, if not more so, is to stay in top mental shape. Keeping your mind in the game will take training because there will be lots of ups and downs throughout the years.
From the start, the military will challenge you mentally. In this article, I will focus on mental toughness and resiliency, and in Military Success 103, I will hone in on educational fitness.
I remember leaving for Marine Corps boot camp in 1999 and being so nervous that I didn’t know what to do with myself. Boot camp, as physically demanding as it was, is a mental challenge.
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Across the broad spectrum of events to complete, you will have some sort of issue or fear for at least one of them. We shot the rifle, conducted swim qualification, did close-order drill, ran a physical fitness test, took multiple academic tests, and rappelled off a tower.
Most people struggled with at least one of these events. To be successful, we had to believe in ourselves and our training. Boot camp is a microcosm of the military. From the day you leave boot camp until the day you retire, you will constantly get new events, billets, people, or assignments thrown at you.
Remaining mentally tough will consist of balancing your personal life, professional pursuits, and physical fitness. Every time you get comfortable, something will change. Whether that is your commanding officer, your assignment to a new base, or the military personnel under your charge- you will have to stay on your feet. It is humbling.
Let’s take a look at some ways that the military will challenge you mentally. Each of these is not too earth-shattering in and of itself; it is the combination of these that will eventually require you to overcome your mental toughness and agility.
Military Occupational Speciality. Your MOS is your job. No matter what your job is and what you go to training for, things will change. I went to school for Air Traffic Control Equipment, including radar, communications, and navigational aids. All the gear that I learned in 1999 and 2000 is retired, as the Marine Corps brings in fresh new equipment.
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By the time I was an E-7 and E-8, I led Marines trained on the new equipment. I never went back to school to learn this new gear, so I had to learn enough to show them and help them troubleshot.
That is why learning the “theory of operations” is vital to everything you do. Consider that I bought an iPhone 1 in 2008. Now I am using a Galaxy S21 Ultra (my wife’s). If I were trained on the iPhone 1 and had to lead Marines using Galaxy S21 Ultras, I would have to employ my knowledge and experience to gain leadership over these Marines. Some operations of the phone are the same, some different. These are challenges you will face across your career.
Duty Assignments. Some people are never happy, no matter how good of a station at which they are working. Others make the best of wherever they end up. You want to be in the latter group. The military will give you some duty stations that you would rather not go. That is part of moving every three to four years.
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Keeping a positive attitude is a must for long-term success. The Marine Corps has three assignments, east coast (North Carolina), west coast (California), or overseas (Japan). Yes, you can end up in many reservist bases across the United States, but for the most part, these are your choices.
I ended up on the east coast (South Carolina, Florida), the west coast (California, Arizona), and overseas (Okinawa, Mainland Japan). I also was able to be stationed overseas in Niger, Turkmenistan, and Finland- when I was on Embassy Duty.
Over the years, I have heard more complaints about duty assignments than I care to remember. I loved each of my duty assignments. They are all unique, and I learned something from each of them. When I joined in 1999, I had never ridden an airplane; now, I am a seasoned traveler. Stay positive, look at the possibilities, and you will love the travel the military provides. Plus, it pays for everything as well.
Deployments. Yes, you will have to deploy. That is why you join the military- to serve overseas. Deployments are a part of life, and you have to be mentally prepared for them as you serve in the military. Every branch of service and MOS has different jobs to perform in combat.
Some are on the frontlines, and others are further away, in support roles. You’ll be surprised at how deployments affect everyone differently. For some, just being away from home is the hardest part. For others, being away from family is unbearable. Others can’t handle terrifying sights and sounds. You have to prepare for the worst and stay strong.
Mentorship is Dead
As an Air Traffic Control maintenance guy, we were generally not on the front lines with the grunts. However, on occasion, we are asked to venture out to help control aircraft closer to the battle. I always tell Marines, “Your uniform doesn’t identify what MOS you are; the enemy doesn’t care.”
In Afghanistan, I traveled from base to base, ensuring communications were good. Flying over the battle zone can be trying times, depending on your faith. I always believed that if it was my time, so be it. I ensured that I lived a life that was worth remembering. My wife knew me very well, and she would pass my legacy on to my sons.
Speaking of sons, my second boy was born while I was in Afghanistan. As I watch Americans become needier and needier, I realize that the military is not for everyone. If you need your spouse to be there every step of the way, please do not join the military. Military families have to be the strongest families in America.
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Leadership. You cannot hide out in the military. Eventually, your rank and position will force you to perform your job and lead other military folks. Some people are natural leaders; most are not. Leadership is a learned skill.
You can probably make it to the rank of E-6 before leadership expects you to become a solid leader. The Marine Corps takes to about E-4. The Marine Corps holds you accountable for your subordinates’ actions, no matter what they did or where they did it.
If your Marine takes leave in Alaksa and does something stupid, expect to be standing tall in front of the man (or woman). It was your failed leadership that allowed this Marine to make this mistake.
It’s all part of the game- for lack of a better word. What they are trying to convey is they need you to get involved in the lives of others. Lead them and mentor them. Some people are naturally good in the military. They understand the rules and how to follow them. Others need a lot of help. We are all raised differently, and by extending our hand to help others, we all become better.
After 22 years of looking after others, I won’t lie; it will feel good to be responsible only for myself. But the truth of the matter is, I learned a lot about leadership that I now have to use with my kids. I have been leading 18 years olds for the last 20 years, and soon my sons will be 18. So all my leadership is now going to assist me in the ultimate test, raising productive children.
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Family. Nothing will destroy your mental capacity like your family- if you let it happen. Before you marry and have children, learn how to communicate. Being in the military will magnify everything about what it means to be married- for good and bad. On a day-to-day basis, you are in control of your life in the military. On a year-to-year basis, you are not in control of your life.
One day, you could be in a friendly, calm maintenance billet. You have strong subordinate leadership, and life at work is excellent. You can come in at 0800 and leave at 1600, with a nice lunch in between. But that is just an illusion. You come in one day, and your assignment changes to Squadron First Sergeant. You now have to work 0600-1800 and deal with all the riff-raft of the unit. Life has definitely changed.
At this point, your family comes in to assist. In the good ol’ days, you were able to drop off and pick up the kids, help them with homework, and prepare them for bed. Now, you are lucky to see them at all. And you are so burnt out that your mood is always different.
If your spouse does not understand how military life works, you will be living in hell. Everyone is frustrated because you are not in control of anything. I was lucky to have a great spouse for 15 years. She always understood my position in life. I have watched so many divorces that it is not even funny.
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Communication is key. Tell your spouse how the military works- why it works this way. Enjoy the things that you can. If your weekdays suck, focus on having great weekends. If your family doesn’t like the desert, find a way to keep them happy, like finding a home with a pool.
Your family is the number one factor for success or failure in the military, outside of yourself. If you can’t mentally handle running a household, then your life in the military will be miserable. I have seen many people wait to start a family until they retire at age 38-40. It could be easy for males, maybe a little harder for females.
The key is to talk to your loved one BEFORE you get married. Yes, before. Explain how the military works, the hours, change of duty stations, schools, and deployments. It’s all part of military life. I will go more into it in a later article in the Military Success Series.
Substance abuse/depression/suicide. Mental toughness, or lack thereof, can lead to many other causalities, including substance abuse, depression, and suicide. The military is ripe for this behavior or these situations, just because of what we do. The environment can be high stress, but the problem is identifying this stress.
Knowing yourself inside and out is how you prevent these types of situations. Stress can be tough to identify by yourself. You may eat a little more, drink more beer, play more games, or talk to people less. Everyone is different, but learning how you react to stress can lead to further military success.
In 2013, I achieved burnout. By the time I self-identified, it was full-blown anger management. I turned myself over to an anger management specialist, and it all worked out. I haven’t been that angry since that time.
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I remember being on the elliptical machine and listening to some music, and my anger was so bad that I was gripping the handlebars so hard. I knew something was wrong. I probably should have turned myself over three months sooner. At the time, I was serving an unaccompanied tour in South Carolina because our house in Arizona was a financial nightmare. We couldn’t afford to rent the house without losing a ton of money- this is why I harp on financial education.
Whatever the case may be, staying mentally tough will mean identifying when your mind is out of alignment. Not just knowing yourself but taking corrective action is a must. I always ask my Marines, “Would you go 20 years without having your car looked at by maintenance professionals?” Well, the same in the military. We do so much, at the highest stakes possible, that we will need to seek assistance. It can be from family, church, or others, but we need to build a network of trust.
Done rambling. I went over my time limit again. I am passionate about mental toughness in the military. The military is not a child’s game; it is a harsh world full of adult actions and decisions. Be prepared to grow up as soon as you join. Ensure your spouse is also an adult as well. Learn yourself and be ready to seek assistance if necessary. More importantly, always try to enjoy your time in the military. It is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
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Disclosure: I am not a financial advisor or money manager, and any knowledge is given as guidance and not direct actionable investment advice. I am an Amazon Affiliate. Please research any investment vehicles that are being considered. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it. I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article.
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